I sit on the kitchen steps
looking down the length of my boat. Taking a deep breath I soak up all the
colour, the fun, the memories and I smile as light dances on the ceiling
reflecting ripples in the water.
God I will miss that light.
Tears sting my eyes because
suddenly being true to one’s self, striving to live a life in direct response
to a heart; feels hard. It is not easy to leap from a cliff, not knowing if the
wind will catch you and hold you in its embrace. Sleep can be broken when your
heart tells you what you need to do and yet, your head jolts you into the
realisation of what that really means.
But, realisation comes when a
home is passed on, when you watch it sail away into the sunlight and then the
thought comes that you are homeless. Fear not, I tell myself; we are all
homeless in one way or another, at one time or another.
Homeless in love, in dreams,
in truth.
And so, I stay with family
for a while and I cry a little, I feel fear a little, but then I find joy in
the warm summer air, in the discarded rubbish that looks like a wagtail. I
realise that it feels good to be back to having everything I need in a car -
right somehow - and I tell my daughter that the only true home is found within
the love between each other. Then we pitch our tent and laugh, splash in
puddles, listen to the birds and fear melts away as I realise that, for right
or wrong, this is the path I am walking; have always walked. One filled with
changing directions and gradients, one that at times is overgrown with thistles
that scratch, but that at others sretches out ahead of me like a long cool
drink on a hot day.
This life is a choice and
this life can be crazy and scary. But it’s unique and it’s mine, and sometimes
you have to be right there on the edge of that cliff just to know you are
living. So that surprise can take you where it wants and let you realise that whatever
step you take, it will always be the right one.
“I have been standing on
the side of life, watching it float by. I want to swim in the river. I want to
feel the current.” ~ Mamah Borthwick Cheney, 1907. (Taken from Loving Frank - a wonderful and interesting read.)
Cheerio my beautiful boat - my we had a lot of fun together ;-)
9 comments:
oh... thats a surprise, but no doubt you and yours are on to another adventure. Good luck, good fortune and cant wait to see what it is....... xxx
Hello Olive! thank you for your positive vibes and yes, we are onto another adventure... but perhaps with a few months rest prior ;-) And fear not, Lucinda will be by our sides! (and still looking for love ;-) Hope you are well xxx
Hi Alice,
I'm crying a little too reading this. But, yes, new, brave steps to be taken - looking forward to reading about new adventures when you're ready. 'The only true home is found within the love between each other' - so true and so very precious - beautiful sentiments. x
Hi Wendy... I'm so glad you connected with my thoughts on home :-) More on the next chapter soon, I'm sure! Thanks for stopping by and commenting x
Saying goodbye to such a beautiful space and so many memories must be tough, but listening to your heart always leads you home no matter what your head says....good luck and love
Hey there!As always I can relate to much what you say, particularly the need to keep moving on and trying different things. Sorry you are feeling blue. Let us know whats next and any plans for island visiting xx
Dreamer
I just hope you took lots of pictures! Going off to another way of life is always exciting. Good luck!
Well done for letting go, Alice, not easy, however exciting the next adventure. You will never really lose the boat, she's in your heart now. There's room for so much more as well. May the next step be closer than you think.
Love,
Liz x
Thank you for your kind words Henrietta ... listening to my heart has never failed yet and as I sit here now, I know that laying ourselves out there bare is, at times, absolutely necessary and worth it :-)
Hey Dreamer - not blue anymore! I owe you a looooong email, which I will endeavor to send off soon! x
Hi Bettyl, and welcome! Lots of pictures indeed :-) and many wonderful memories up here - thank you for the luck!
Thank you Liz... the next step is certainly closer than I anticipated, but more on that soon ;-) And yes, so many places in my heart that it's bursting, but that's a good thing. Hope you are well :-) x
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